Ellen Chat Conversation

The experience of "church hurt" often stems from internal strife, where a spirit of faultfinding and accusation replaces the love that should characterize a Christian community. When members focus on hunting for wrongs in one another and magnifying them, the spiritual strength of the entire body is lost (1T 164.2). This critical atmosphere can wither the noble feelings of the soul, leading to a state where compassion and pity for brethren no longer exist (1T 164.2). Beyond interpersonal criticism, the church is sometimes damaged by those who bypass the biblical order for resolving grievances. Pride and self-esteem frequently prevent individuals from seeking private, prayerful reconciliation with those they believe are in error (2TT 84).

When members resort to public contentions or legal battles against one another, they not only ignore the authority God has placed in the church but also bring ridicule upon the cause of truth and cause the powers of darkness to triumph (2TT 84). In some instances, individuals may even engage in deliberate schemes to undermine the influence of others within the church. Such actions can have devastating consequences, not only for the victim's reputation but also for the spiritual life of the perpetrator, as God may intervene to address the blindness and distrust created by these wrong impressions (12MR 341.2). This type of "home influence" within the church can effectively counteract the work of God (12MR 341.2).

Historically, the church has also faced "hurt" through external persecution, where believers were stripped of possessions, imprisoned, and even slain for their testimony (GC 39.2). While these trials were physically and mentally agonizing, they often resulted in the advancement of truth as the public witnessed the steadfastness of those suffering for their faith (7MR 52.1). Whether the hurt is internal or external, the remedy involves elevating the mind to dwell on eternal themes and the precious promises of God's word rather than being consumed by trifles or the failures of others (1T 164.2).

You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the biblical method for settling grievances between members?How does a faultfinding spirit affect the spiritual health of a local congregation?What counsel did she give regarding how to treat those who have been overtaken in a fault?

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The biblical method for resolving grievances between church members is centered on the specific instructions given by Christ in the Gospel of Matthew. This process begins with a private, personal effort to reach the individual who has caused the offense. The primary goal of this initial step is reconciliation and the restoration of the brother or sister, rather than public exposure or condemnation (AA 304.1). This direct approach is intended to gain the brother through a spirit of meekness and personal appeal (2T 15.1). If this private effort does not result in a resolution, the next stage involves taking one or two additional witnesses to meet with the individual. This step ensures that every word is established and provides a broader perspective to help the erring party see their fault (AA 304.1).

It is only after these personal and small-group efforts have failed that the matter is to be brought before the collective body of the church (2T 15.1). This orderly progression is designed to protect the reputation of individuals and the harmony of the community. The spirit in which these grievances are handled is as important as the procedure itself. Those who seek to correct others must do so with a softening, subduing influence from the Spirit of God, recognizing their own susceptibility to temptation (DG 186). The objective is always to restore the erring in a spirit of humbleness and love (15MR 172).

Furthermore, individuals are encouraged to seek divine counsel personally through prayer and faith, rather than depending solely on human wisdom to determine their duty in difficult situations (LYL 39). A critical aspect of this biblical method is the priority of reconciliation over religious ritual. Christ taught that if a person remembers a grievance while at the altar, they should leave their gift and first be reconciled to their brother before continuing their worship (SpM 352.1). By following this divine order, the church avoids the "grave evil" of members taking legal action against one another in secular courts, which brings dishonor to the cause of truth (AA 304.1).

You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the dangers of taking fellow believers to secular courts?How does the spirit of meekness influence the way we should restore an erring member?What are the spiritual consequences of harboring an unreconciled spirit during worship?

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Harboring an unreconciled spirit has immediate and devastating effects on an individual's connection with the Divine. The presence of disunion and contention, even if these feelings remain unexpressed and hidden from others, effectively drives out the peace and love that should define a Christian's experience (4T 221). Because the Spirit of God will not abide where there is such discord, the heart becomes occupied by selfishness, often manifesting as inordinate self-esteem or a craving for unmerited approval (T27 117). When a person allows bitterness, envy, or a spirit of revenge to take root, they essentially quench the Holy Spirit and banish true happiness from their lives (21MR 164.3).

Such internal states are viewed as a transgression of God's law, giving the enemy a distinct advantage and destroying the soul's peace (21MR 164.3). Furthermore, the willful retention of known sin or a disregard for divine principles silences the witnessing voice of the Spirit, creating a separation between the soul and God (HL 306). The long-term spiritual consequences of an unreconciled heart include a complete standstill in spiritual growth and a resulting blindness of mind (12MR 373.1).

Those who allow their own unsympathetic spirits to control them become like "moral icebergs"—cold, dark, and unimpressible—replacing justice and mercy with self-righteousness (1888 94.3). This state not only ruins the individual's own soul but also scatters seeds of disaffection throughout the church, dishonoring the truth and grieving the Spirit of Christ (LLM 390.1). Ultimately, a lack of harmony and a spirit of independence serve as evidence that the Spirit of Christ is not abiding in the heart (PaM 268.2).

Without humiliation of soul, confession, and restitution, those harboring such spirits cannot discern spiritual things and risk reaping a harvest of backsliding and neglect (2SAT 74.3). True religion is instead characterized by a unity that transforms the natural man, a witness that is lost when grievances remain unsettled (PaM 268.2).

You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the relationship between unity and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit?How does harboring a critical spirit affect one's ability to discern truth?What practical steps did she recommend for achieving heart-felt reconciliation before taking part in church ordinances?

The practice of taking fellow believers to secular courts is presented as a departure from the divine similitude and a move toward worldly policy. When church leaders or members engage in legal battles through lawyers to gain control over property or settle disputes, they are often acting upon a spirit that God has forbidden for His people (SpTA12 11.1). Such actions are frequently driven by ingenious human inventions rather than the straight lines of divine counsel, leading to a work that does not reflect the character of Christ (SpTA12 11.1). Resorting to worldly legal systems to resolve internal church matters is often a symptom of adopting worldly policy within the work of God. This approach can fill those who are in communion with God with apprehension and distress, as it represents a shift away from the sacred principles that should govern the church (SpTA02b 107.1).

When ministers and responsible men in church institutions urge measures that rely on secular legal force, they often do so in a spirit that is far from gentle, signaling a spiritual decline (SpTA02b 107.1). Furthermore, the church is warned that failing to protest against fanatical or deceptive courses of action—including those that disgrace the cause of God through improper associations or legal entanglements—can lead to the entire body incurring God's frown (LS80 286.2). If the church does not cut loose from those who pursue such worldly methods, they become partakers in the evil deeds and face greater dangers than they initially realize (LS88 286.2).

Ultimately, believers are encouraged to look to God rather than humanity for counsel and the resolution of duty. Placing the responsibility of one's duty upon others or depending on human legal systems ignores the promise that the Lord is willing to teach each individual personally (LYL 39). Those who decide to do nothing that would displease God will find that by presenting their case before Him, they receive not only the wisdom to know the right course but also the strength to obey it without resorting to secular courts (LYL 39).

You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the role of the church board in settling disputes?How should a believer handle being defrauded by another member according to her writings?What are the spiritual dangers of seeking counsel from those who do not share our faith?

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