Ellen White gave clear counsel about seeking God's guidance when considering marriage, teaching that "if men and women are in the habit of praying twice a day before they contemplate marriage, they should pray four times a day when such a step is anticipated" (
MYP 460). She emphasized that marriage is a decision requiring divine wisdom because it "will influence and affect your life, both in this world and in the world to come" (
MYP 460). Her counsel centers on making God your counselor in this important decision. She wrote that "in alliance for life, let all the associations you form be entered upon with earnest, humble prayer" (
Pr 32.4).
A sincere Christian "will not advance his plans in this direction without the knowledge that God approves his course. He will not want to choose for himself, but will feel that God must choose for him" (
MYP 460). This doesn't mean marrying someone you don't love—she was clear that this would be sin—but it does mean not allowing fancy and the emotional natureto lead you into unwise decisions (
MYP 460). The practical approach she recommended involves making prayer a priority throughout the decision-making process. When you pray, be brief, come right to the pointand "ask for the bread of life as a hungry child asks bread of his earthly father" (
5T 201.2).
Tell God specifically what you need: "Ask for humility, wisdom, courage, increase of faith, that you may see light in God's light and rejoice in His love" (
Pr 32.4). Ellen White also encouraged persistent, heartfelt prayer rather than mere formality. She counseled to pray in sincerity, in soul-hungerand to "wrestle with the heavenly agencies until you have the victory" (
19MR 258.1). This kind of earnest seeking brings clarity: "Then the eyes of your understanding will be anointed with heavenly eyesalve. Then you will see heavenly things clearly" (
19MR 258.1).
For those feeling uncertain or discouraged in this area, her counsel was compassionate: "Pray when you are fainthearted. When you are desponding, close the lips firmly to men; do not shadow the path of others; but tell everything to Jesus" (
Pr 32.4). Prayer should be woven throughout your daily life—"as you go about your daily labor let your heart be often uplifted to God" (
Pr 180.1). The key principle is that God "requires the whole heart, the supreme affections" (
MYP 460), and He will guide those who sincerely seek His will in this life-changing decision. --- 💡 **You might also want to explore:**
• What counsel did Ellen White give about recognizing God's will in choosing a life partner?
• How did she describe the connection between spiritual preparation and readiness for marriage?
• What warnings did she give about common mistakes people make when choosing a spouse?
Ellen Chat