Based on Ellen White's writings, I can offer guidance for your challenging situation involving your child, the mother's difficult behavior, and balancing your church work responsibilities. ## Your Responsibility as a Father Ellen White emphasizes that **"The husband and father is the head of the household... The children are his as well as hers, and he is equally interested in their welfare"** (MH 390). Even in your unmarried situation, your parental responsibility remains sacred. She states clearly: **"Your children are the Lord's property with which you have been entrusted, to bring up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord"** (MS 61, 1911). ## Dealing with Difficult Relationships Regarding the mother's challenging behavior, Ellen White provides practical counsel: **"Mild measures, soft answers, and pleasant words are much better fitted to reform and save, than severity and harshness. A little too much unkindness may place persons beyond your reach, while a conciliatory spirit would be the means of binding them to you"** (4T 65.1). She emphasizes forgiveness even in difficult circumstances: **"We should not think that unless those who have injured us confess the wrong we are justified in withholding from them our forgiveness... we are to have a spirit of compassion toward those who have trespassed against us, whether or not they confess their faults"** (MB 113.3). ## Protecting Your Child When dealing with someone who may use the child to cause hurt, Ellen White warns against exposing children to harmful influences: **"Parents should remember that their children must encounter these temptations. Even before the birth of the child, the preparation should begin that will enable it to fight successfully the battle against evil"** (MH 371.3). She also counsels: **"There is danger of both parents and teachers commanding and dictating too much, while they fail to come sufficiently into social relation with their children... If they would gather the children close to them, and show that they love them, and would manifest an interest in all their efforts... they would make the children very happy and would gain their love and win their confidence"** (3T 134.2). ## Balancing Ministry and Family Ellen White is very clear about priorities: **"Nothing can excuse the minister for neglecting the inner circle for the larger circle outside. The spiritual welfare of his family comes first. In the day of final reckoning, God will inquire what he did to win to Christ those whom he took the responsibility of bringing into the world"** (GW 204.3). She adds: **"The minister's duties lie around him, nigh and afar off; but his first duty is to his children... To a large degree the happiness of men and women and the success of the church depend upon home influence"** (GW 204.2). ## Practical Steps Forward 1. **Maintain your spiritual focus**: **"In patient forbearance we shall conquer. It is patience in service that brings rest to the soul"** (7T 266.3). 2. **Prioritize your child's welfare**: Document interactions, maintain consistent loving contact with your child, and seek legal counsel if necessary to protect your parental rights. 3. **Practice forgiveness without enabling**: You can forgive the mother's behavior while still setting appropriate boundaries to protect yourself and your child. 4. **Balance your ministry**: Consider how your family situation affects your ministry effectiveness, and don't neglect your parental duties for church work. Ellen White's counsel shows that even in complex family situations, your primary responsibility is to your child's spiritual and physical welfare, while maintaining a Christ-like spirit toward all involved, including the difficult mother.