Parents should not break the will of their children.
The concept of "breaking the will" is identified as a practice fundamentally opposed to the principles of Christ. Instead of crushing a child's volition, parents are encouraged to view the will as a sacred treasure that must be preserved, directed, and molded with tenderness. The goal is not to destroy the child's strength of character but to guide it wisely through precept and example until they reach an age of personal responsibility (CT 116.2), (2MCP 688.2). Effective discipline requires parents to maintain a balance between firm requirements for obedience and a sympathetic understanding of the child's own experience. By recalling their own childhood feelings and yearnings for love, parents can better relate to their children's needs. While the parental word must be respected, this authority should always be exercised with a spirit of love and kindness rather than harshness or fretful chiding (1T 388.1). A well-directed will is essential for developing stability of character and self-government. Parents have a solemn duty to teach their children how to use their mental and physical powers for a good purpose, helping them to perfect holiness and become a blessing to society (2T 647.3).
This training is most effective when parents are united in their disciplinary efforts; if one parent undermines the other's authority through indulgence or disagreement, it can lead to deception and the eventual ruin of the child's character (CG 239.2). Ultimately, the home environment serves as the primary mission field for the salvation of children. Parents are urged to be vigilant in selecting their children's society and protecting them from injurious influences, as it is far easier to sow good seeds early than to uproot weeds later (1T 399.3). By encouraging children to confide their daily trials and heart griefs, parents can provide the spiritual guidance and sympathy necessary to point them toward Christ as their ultimate Counselor (1T 391.2).
The principles of health reform are presented as a vital component of the spiritual life, requiring individuals to deny self-indulgence and align their physical habits with the glory of God. This involves a commitment to temperance in all things and the avoidance of fleshly lusts that negatively impact the soul (TSDF 141), (T15 33.4). A significant aspect of this reform is the transition away from a meat-based diet. It is suggested that with proper skill and care, nutritious plant-based dishes can be prepared to replace flesh meats, eventually educating the palate to prefer a simpler, cleaner diet (CD 410.2). Specific items, such as hot biscuits and the meat of dead animals, are identified as being entirely out of harmony with these health principles (TSDF 10), (TSDF 28).
The adoption of a plain diet—free from grease, spices, and flesh meats—is described as a means to prevent unnecessary suffering and despondency within the family (TSDF 141). Furthermore, maintaining clear mental faculties for work and service is closely tied to being strictly temperate and avoiding foods that cause internal fermentation (CD 493.3). Even when consuming healthy food, caution is urged against immoderation, as it is possible to err by eating too much of a good thing (TSDF 163.1).
Ultimately, the subject of temperance is not a minor issue but holds an important place in the broader work of salvation (Te 237.4). Many individuals may attempt to frame excuses for not following these instructions, but such reasoning often stems from a mind influenced by impulse rather than the light of truth (CD 398).
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Doesn't Ed 288 talk about the dangers of breaking the will of children?
The instruction regarding the child's will emphasizes that it should be guided and molded rather than crushed or broken. While the specific page you mentioned, Ed 288, is a well-known reference for this principle, the broader body of counsel consistently warns that breaking a child's will is a grave mistake that can lead to a life of weakness and indecision. Instead of being forced into submission through a display of superior power, children should be taught to yield their will to God and to right principles through the exercise of their own reason and self-control (CD 243), (TSDF 57). A critical part of this development involves the physical and moral environment provided by the parents. When children are not taught self-denial and are instead allowed to indulge in stimulating or "feverish" diets, their lower passions are strengthened while their spiritual and moral powers are weakened (TSDF 60), (CD 244.2). This lack of self-restraint makes it nearly impossible for a child to develop the firm religious principles necessary to resist the temptations of a degenerate age (10MR 286.3), (CD 399.3).
True discipline is not about the parent's dominance, but about helping the child achieve self-government. Parents are urged to study the principles of health and temperance as a means of guarding their children's moral perceptions (CG 409.4). By providing a healthful, unstimulating diet and setting a consistent example of self-control, parents help ensure that reason and conscience remain in the ascendancy over sensual impulses (CD 243), (14MR 313.1).
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Show me the clearest quotes where she talks about the dangers of breaking a child's will.
The practice of "breaking the will" is explicitly identified as being in direct opposition to the principles of Christ. Rather than being crushed or hammered into pieces, a child's will is described as a sacred treasure that must be preserved and directed with wisdom and tenderness. The strength of the will is considered essential for the human being, and parents are instructed to fashion and mold it through precept and example until the child reaches the age of responsibility (CT 116.2), (2MCP 688.2). While the will should not be broken, parents are cautioned against allowing a child's will to bear sway without restraint. It is a mistake to believe that children will naturally outgrow wrong traits if left to follow their own way; instead, they must be taught that parental requirements are to be carried out from an early age (6MR 48.2). When a crisis of wills does occur, it should be handled with extreme care to avoid a spirit of defiance. The goal is to lead the child to yield to the parent's superior wisdom through a low, gentle voice and perfect self-control, rather than through loud commands or force (CCh 142.3), (CG 211.2).
The dangers of harsh or unreasonable discipline are significant, as certain children may find it impossible to forget severe punishment they did not deserve. Such treatment can result in injured souls and bewildered minds, causing the parent to lose vital opportunities to instill right principles. To avoid these outcomes, parents must maintain a well-balanced mind and manifest self-control in their words and actions (CG 249.1).
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Verified Source Texts
“The work of “breaking the will” is contrary to the principles of Christ. The will of the child must be directed and guided. Save all the strength of the will, for the human being needs it all; but give it proper direction. Treat it wisely and tenderly, as a sacred treasure. Do not hammer it in pieces; but by precept and true example wisely fashion and mold it until the child comes to years of responsibility. CT 116.2”
“Save All the Strength of the Will —The work of “breaking the will” is contrary to the principles of Christ. The will of the child must be directed and guided. Save all the strength of the will, for the human being needs it all; but give it proper direction. Treat it wisely and tenderly, as a sacred treasure. Do not hammer it in pieces; but by precept and true example fashion and mold it until the child comes to years of responsibility.— Counsels to Parents, Teachers, and Students, 116 (1913) . 688.2 2MCP”
“Now is the time to restrain and control your child. Teach her that her will is not to bear sway, but that what you require of her must be carried out. Do not deceive yourself, as many parents have done, by thinking that children when in their babyhood should not be required to obey, that if they are left to follow their own will and way, they will, as they become older, outgrow their wrong traits of character. Those who reason in this way find to their sorrow that as the twig is bent the tree's inclined. Little pranks and errors may seem to be amusing when the child is a baby, and they may be permitted and encouraged, but as the child grows older, they become disgusting and offensive. 6MR 48.2”
“Whenever possible, this crisis should be avoided; for it means a severe struggle for both mother and child. But once such a crisis is entered into, the child must be led to yield its will to the wiser will of the parent. CCh 142.2 The mother should keep herself under perfect control, doing nothing that will arouse in the child a spirit of defiance. She is to give no loud-voiced commands. She will gain much by keeping the voice low and gentle. She is to deal with the child in a way that will draw him to Jesus. She is to realize that God is her Helper; love, her power. CCh 142.3”
“This is a crisis that should seldom be permitted to come, for both mother and child will have a hard struggle. Great care should be shown to avoid such an issue. But once such an issue is entered into, the child must be led to yield to the superior wisdom of the parent. The mother is to keep her words under perfect control. There are to be no loud-voiced commands. Nothing is to be done that will develop a defiant spirit in the child. The mother must study how to deal with him in such a way that he will be drawn to Jesus. She must pray in faith that Satan shall not be victor over the child's will. The heavenly angels are watching the scene. CG 211.2”
“Some children will soon forget a wrong that is done to them by father and mother; but other children who are differently constituted cannot forget severe, unreasonable punishment which they did not deserve. Thus their souls are injured, and their minds bewildered. The mother loses her opportunities to instill right principles into the mind of the child, because she did not maintain self-control and manifest a well-balanced mind in her deportment and words.17 Manuscript 38, 1895 . CG 249.1”
Ellen Chat