While Ellen White does not provide a direct, step-by-step guide for the specific situation of a child refusing to go to school, she offers extensive counsel on the underlying principles of parenting, discipline, and education that directly address the root causes of such behavior. Her guidance suggests that this issue is often a symptom of deeper challenges in the home environment, the parent-child relationship, and the child's overall training. ### 1. The Foundation: Discipline and Atmosphere at Home Ellen White is very clear that a child's behavior at school is a direct reflection of their training at home. A lack of consistent, loving discipline is often the primary cause of unwillingness to submit to the structure of school. * **Lax Government at Home:** "Lax government at home has unfitted them for any position, and as a natural consequence they have rebelled against school discipline." (4T 198.4) * **The Need for Self-Control in Parents:** She warns parents against creating a negative home environment through their own lack of self-control. "Instead of kindly asking the children to do this or that, they order them in a scolding tone... this course pursued toward your children destroys their cheerfulness and ambition. They do your bidding, not from love, but because they dare not do otherwise. Their heart is not in the matter. It is a drudgery, instead of a pleasure." (1T 384.2) A child who finds home to be a drudgery will likely feel the same about school. * **Learning to Obey:** Children who have not learned to obey at home are at a significant disadvantage. "Not having received the necessary disciplinary training, they think that they can do as they please. A knowledge of how to obey would have strengthened them to resist temptation, but this knowledge their parents have not given them." (8T 224.2) ### 2. The Parent-Teacher Relationship Ellen White emphasizes that parents and teachers must work together. When parents undermine the teacher's authority, they encourage their children's rebellion. * **Sustaining the Teacher's Authority:** "One of the greatest difficulties with which teachers have had to contend is the failure on the part of parents to cooperate in administering the discipline of the college. If the parents would stand pledged to sustain the authority of the teacher, much insubordination, vice, and profligacy would be prevented." (5T 89.2) * **Believing the Child Over the Teacher:** She cautions parents against automatically taking their child's side. "Their complaints have been received and credited by their parents, who, in sympathizing with their imaginary troubles, have encouraged their children in wrong-doing. These parents have in many instances believed positive untruths that have been palmed off upon them by their deceiving children." (4T 198.4) ### 3. The Child's Motivation and Well-being Sometimes, a child's reluctance can stem from burnout or a lack of engagement. * **The Danger of Monotony:** "Many parents keep their children at school nearly the year round. These children go through the routine of study mechanically, but do not retain that which they learn... The monotony of continual study wearies the mind, and they take but little interest in their lessons; and to many the application to books becomes painful." (3T 142.2) * **Building a Loving Relationship:** The key to winning a child's cooperation is love and confidence, not cold authority. "If they would gather the children close to them and show that they love them, and would manifest an interest in all their efforts and even in their sports, sometimes even being a child among them, they would make the children very happy and would gain their love and win their confidence. And the children would more quickly learn to respect and love the authority of their parents and teachers." (CT 76.3) ### 4. The Importance of the Right School Environment Ellen White consistently advocated for establishing church schools to provide an environment where children could be shielded from corrupting influences and receive a balanced, character-focused education. * **A Call to Action:** "In some countries parents are compelled by law to send their children to school. In these countries, in localities where there is a church, schools should be established if there are no more than six children to attend. Work as if you were working for your life to save the children from being drowned in the polluting, corrupting influences of the world." (6T 199.1) ### Summary of Principles to Apply: Based on her writings, the approach to a child who doesn't want to go to school would be to: 1. **Examine the Home Environment First:** Is discipline consistent, firm, and loving? Is the home atmosphere cheerful and encouraging, or is it filled with scolding and negativity? 2. **Build a Relationship of Trust:** Spend time with your children, show interest in their lives, and win their confidence through love. A child who feels loved and understood is more likely to cooperate. 3. **Partner with the Teacher:** Uphold the teacher's authority and work as a team. Do not permit the child to play one against the other. 4. **Assess the Child's Workload:** Ensure the child is not suffering from burnout due to a monotonous or overly demanding school schedule. Balance study with physical labor and recreation. 5. **Teach from Cause to Effect:** "Teach them that if they desire health and happiness, they must obey the laws of nature. Though you may not see so rapid improvement as you desire, be not discouraged, but patiently and perseveringly continue your work." (MH 386.1)