Ellen Chat Conversation

Choosing a life partner is one of the most significant decisions an individual can make, as it impacts physical, mental, and spiritual health for both the couple and their future children (2SM 481.2). A successful union requires careful consideration of compatibility, as a lack of adaptation between partners can lead to lifelong unhappiness (2SM 482.2). The ultimate goal of marriage is to create a happy home that reflects the joy Christ desires for His followers (2SM 481.2).

Before committing to marriage, a woman should rigorously evaluate the character and history of her potential husband. It is essential to determine if his affection is based on noble principles or merely emotional impulse, and whether he possesses traits that foster peace and joy (LYL 23). A critical factor in this evaluation is whether the relationship allows the woman to maintain her own individuality and conscience, ensuring that her primary allegiance remains to Christ rather than being surrendered to the control of another (LYL 23). Spiritual alignment is the foundation of a lasting union, and individuals are encouraged to give themselves to Christ before giving themselves to any earthly friend (LYL 79).

Marriage should never involve entering a relationship that conflicts with one's devotion to God (LYL 79). Once married, the couple is called to blend their lives and work together unitedly, making God their primary counselor in all things (PaM 202.1). While marriage involves a blending of lives, both partners must maintain their individual identities while striving for unity in purpose and action (10MR 179).

A wife is encouraged to prioritize her relationship with her husband above other earthly ties, such as parents or friends, to foster harmony and happiness within the home (10MR 20). When a wife is chosen with wisdom, she is regarded as a blessing and a "crown of rejoicing" for her husband (DG 265.6).

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What specific questions should a man ask when choosing a wife?
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To educate yourself as Daniel did, you must first recognize that true wisdom and understanding are gifts from God, granted to those who place themselves in a right relationship with Him (1SAT 336.1). Daniel’s success was not merely the result of human effort but was rooted in his commitment to keep the glory of God as his primary motivation (CE 90.1). By standing where Daniel stood—prioritizing spiritual integrity over self-glorification—you can gain a progressive education that leads to sanctification and prepares you for the kingdom of God (AUCR January 15, 1903, par. 3).

A central component of this education is the diligent study of the Bible, which offers the grandest themes for human contemplation (CE 189.2). When you search the Scriptures as an earnest seeker of truth, heavenly angels stand by your side to illuminate your mind and impart energy to your soul (CTBH 126.2). This divine cooperation allows you to reach the highest levels of mental culture and clear discernment, as God does not desire His children to remain novices in their intellectual or spiritual development. Following Daniel’s example also requires a commitment to personal excellence in character, speech, and habits (MM 200.5).

You are encouraged to reach for the "highest round of the ladder" by drawing from God’s treasure-house of knowledge, which far exceeds worldly wisdom. By shunning worldly pretenses and focusing on Christlikeness, you can obtain an education that gives you a standing among men while maintaining the humility and principles seen in the life of Christ (MM 160).

You might also want to explore:
What specific habits did Daniel practice to maintain his health and mental clarity?
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