When you feel alone, Ellen White's writings offer the comforting assurance that God is always near, even when His presence isn't felt. She emphasizes that feelings of loneliness do not reflect the reality of God's constant companionship and care. Here are some key points from her books: **1. You Are Never Truly Alone** God is a constant companion, a witness to every moment of your life. > "We are never alone. Whether we choose Him or not, we have a companion. Remember that wherever you are, whatever you do, God is there. Nothing that is said or done or thought can escape His attention. To your every word or deed you have a witness—the holy, sin-hating God." (MH 490.3) **2. Christ's Presence Surrounds You** Feelings of distance from Christ are not the reality; His presence is a constant comfort. > "Never feel that Christ is far away. He is always near. His loving presence surrounds you. Seek Him as One who desires to be found of you. He desires you not only to touch His garments, but to walk with Him in constant communion." (MH 85.2) **3. His Presence May Not Be Felt, But It Is Real** Even without a tangible sign, God's compassionate care is always with you. When you pray, you connect with Him, regardless of your immediate feelings. > "You may have no remarkable evidence at the time that the face of your Redeemer is bending over you in compassion and love, but this is even so. You may not feel His visible touch, but His hand is upon you in love and pitying tenderness." (3T 323.2) **4. The Comforter Is Sent in Times of Need** In moments of sorrow, darkness, and helplessness, the Holy Spirit is sent in response to the prayer of faith. > "At all times and in all places, in all sorrows and in all afflictions, when the outlook seems dark and the future perplexing, and we feel helpless and alone, the Comforter will be sent in answer to the prayer of faith. Circumstances may separate us from every earthly friend; but no circumstance, no distance, can separate us from the heavenly Comforter." (DA 669.4) **5. Remember God's Past Faithfulness** Recalling how God has helped you in the past can provide strength and assurance for the present and future. > "Let us look to the monumental pillars, reminders of what the Lord has done to comfort us and to save us from the hand of the destroyer. Let us keep fresh in our memory all the tender mercies that God has shown us,—the tears He has wiped away, the pains He has soothed, the anxieties removed, the fears dispelled, the wants supplied, the blessings bestowed,—thus strengthening ourselves for all that is before us through the remainder of our pilgrimage." (SC 125.1)

I am truly sorry to hear you are going through the pain of a broken heart. That is one of the most difficult experiences a person can face, and it can certainly make you feel isolated. The comfort you were asking about before—God's presence when you feel alone—is especially for moments like this. Ellen White's writings consistently point to Jesus as the ultimate healer of a wounded and broken heart. He understands your pain intimately. Here is some guidance from her books that may bring you comfort: **1. Jesus is a Friend Who Understands Your Pain** He experienced every human sorrow and is uniquely able to sympathize with your heartbreak. You can open your heart to Him without reservation. > "Jesus is acquainted with the sorrows of every soul. You may say, I am a sinner, a very great sinner. You may be; but the worse you are, the more you need Jesus. He turns no weeping, contrite one away... He bids every trembling soul take courage. Freely will He pardon all who come to Him for forgiveness and restoration." (DA 568.4) > "All that has perplexed us in the providences of God will in the world to come be made plain. The things hard to be understood will then find explanation. The mysteries of grace will unfold before us. Where our finite minds discovered only confusion and broken promises, we shall see the most perfect and beautiful harmony." (MH 473.3) **2. Bring Your Broken Heart to Him for Healing** Instead of carrying the burden of your sadness alone, you are invited to bring it to Christ. > "Come, then, and let us cast our helpless souls upon the compassionate Redeemer. Let us not plead our own merits, but His, and trust in His undying love. Whatever your anxieties and trials, spread out your case before the Lord. Your spirit will be braced for endurance... The way will be opened for you to disentangle yourself from embarrassment and difficulty." (SC 100.2) **3. Earthly Disappointments Can Lead You to God** Sometimes, the pain of a broken human relationship can help you discover the unfailing love of God, which is constant and pure. > "Our heavenly Father has a thousand ways to provide for us, of which we know nothing. Those who accept the one principle of making the service and honor of God supreme will find their perplexities vanish, and a plain path before their feet." (MH 481.4) > "When earthly hopes are dead, and the refuge of our soul is Christ alone, we shall receive comfort and strength and courage from Him." (1T 409.1) The pain you feel is real and deep, but you are not alone in it. The same God who is present in loneliness is especially near to the brokenhearted. He offers a peace and healing that no human relationship can. May you find strength and comfort in His presence during this difficult time.

Yes, based on the writings of Ellen White, it is unequivocally a sin to trifle with someone's affections or "play with hearts." Her counsel treats this matter with utmost seriousness, viewing it as a violation of sacred trust and a practice that debases the character of all involved. Here are several principles from her books that address this directly: **1. It Is an Insult and a Sign of Impurity** Ellen White uses very strong language to condemn any form of insincere or inappropriate affection. She considers it an offense against a person's dignity and a clear indicator of a corrupt heart. > "The slightest insinuations, from whatever source they may come, inviting you to indulge in sin or to allow the least unwarrantable liberty with your persons, should be resented as the worst of insults to your dignified womanhood... Be sure that the least approach to it is evidence of a lascivious mind and a lustful eye." (2T 458.2) **2. It Is a Device of Satan to Cause Ruin** Trifling with affections is not seen as a harmless game but as a destructive behavior instigated by Satan to cause pain and estrange hearts. > "Satan is at the bottom of this; and unless she can be alarmed, and stopped just where she is, he will lead her to ruin... Oh, how many lives are made bitter by the breaking down of the walls which enclose the privacies of every family and which are calculated to preserve its purity and sanctity!" (SA 156.1) **3. It Debases One's Own Character** Engaging in this behavior doesn't just harm the other person; it corrupts the character of the one doing it. It is a cherished sin that weakens moral defenses. > "It is a perilous thing to allow an unchristian trait to live in the heart. One cherished sin will, little by little, debase the character, bringing all its nobler powers into subjection to the evil desire. The removal of one safeguard from the conscience, the indulgence of one evil habit, one neglect of the high claims of duty, breaks down the defenses of the soul and opens the way for Satan to come in and lead us astray." (PP 452.2) **4. It Stems from a Selfish Love of Flattery** Often, the motive for playing with hearts is a desire for attention and approval (approbation), which is a form of selfishness. > "You love approbation... if you are petted and courted and flattered because you can make bright speeches and apt remarks, and because you are cheerful, lively, and witty, and not because of intellectual and moral worth, you will be looked upon by sensible, godly men and women as an object of pity rather than envy. You should be guarded against flattery." (3T 225.2) In summary, Ellen White's writings portray the act of playing with someone's heart as a serious moral and spiritual failure. It is rooted in selfishness, impurity, and a disregard for the sacredness of human affection. It causes deep pain to others and leads to the spiritual degradation of the person committing the act.

This is a very important question, especially following the pain of heartbreak. When considering a lifelong partner, Ellen White's counsel is to look beyond superficial attractions and carefully evaluate a person's character. She provides clear guidance on traits that can lead to unhappiness and spiritual danger in a marriage. Instead of framing it as a girl being "not worth it" (as every person has immense value to God), her writings focus on characteristics that make someone an *unsuitable partner* for a person committed to a life of faith and purpose. Here are key characteristics to be cautious of, according to her counsel: **1. Lack of Religious Principle** This is the most critical factor. Marrying someone who does not share your faith or is not deeply committed to God is a theme of serious warning in her writings. > "To connect yourself with an unbeliever is to place yourself on Satan’s ground. You grieve the Spirit of God and forfeit His protection. Can you afford to have such terrible odds against you in fighting the battle for everlasting life?" (5T 365.1) > > "The happiness and prosperity of the marriage relation depends upon the unity of the parties. But between the believer and the unbeliever there is a radical difference of tastes, inclinations, and purposes. They are serving two masters, between whom there can be no concord. However pure and correct one’s principles may be, the influence of an unbelieving companion will have a tendency to lead away from God." (PP 174.3) **2. A Frivolous, Pleasure-Seeking Nature** A person who is focused on amusement, fashion, and superficial social life, rather than on developing their character and mind, is considered a poor choice for a partner. > "Shun those who are frivolous and pleasure-loving. Shun one who is a scoffer at religion... The young man who makes the Bible his guide, and who is a partaker of the divine nature, will not be easily charmed with the associations of a worldly nature." (2T 42.1) > > "A woman who has not a love for God, who has no depth of thought or feeling, will be a cheap, superficial, and irresponsible prattler. Her influence will be to make you satisfied with a low level, to make you earthly and sensual." (3T 483.1) **3. Selfishness and an Exacting Nature** A partner who is selfish, demanding, and unable to be patient or supportive will create a miserable home environment. > "Let the young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love." (MH 359.3) In contrast, one who is "unloving, impatient, and exacting" brings misery. **4. Ignorance of Practical Duties** Ellen White emphasized the importance of practical life skills. A partner who is ignorant of or unwilling to learn how to manage a home is not prepared for the responsibilities of marriage. > "In the choice of a wife, see that she is one who will be a real helpmeet. Let her be one who is not ignorant of household duties. The one you choose should have good, sound common sense... A woman who is ignorant of the duties of domestic life is not prepared to be a wife and mother." (HL 159.2) > > "Before giving her hand in marriage, every woman should inquire whether he with whom she is about to unite her destiny is worthy. What has been his past record? Is his life pure? Is the love which he expresses of a noble, elevated character, or is it a mere emotional fondness? ... Can she feel that her happiness will be safe in his hands?" (MH 358.1) **5. Love of Dress and Display** A focus on outward appearance over inner character is a significant red flag. > "The love of dress and pleasure is a snare. Satan is bidding for the souls of the young. He spreads his net of fashion, and they are charmed and entangled." (4T 631.1) In summary, the counsel is to choose a partner based on the depth of their character, their love for God, their unselfishness, and their readiness for life's practical responsibilities. Avoiding a union with someone who is irreligious, superficial, selfish, or impractical is essential for building a happy, Christ-centered home and avoiding future heartbreak.

Of course. After understanding what to avoid, the next step is to focus on the positive principles for building a healthy, God-centered relationship in the future. Ellen White's writings offer a great deal of advice on how to choose a life partner wisely and prepare yourself for a successful marriage. Here is more advice, focusing on the positive characteristics and the right approach to choosing a partner: **1. Make God's Guidance Your First Priority** Before entering any relationship, the most crucial step is to seek God's will through prayer. A decision of this magnitude should not be made based on feelings alone. > "If there is any matter that needs to be considered with calm reason and unimpassioned judgment, it is the matter of marriage. If ever the Bible was needed as a counselor, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life... Pray for divine guidance. Make it a subject of fasting and prayer." (HL 158.3) > > "Let the youth go to God in prayer. Let them ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Let them follow its teachings, and then they will not have a sad chapter to read in their experience." (2T 251.1) **2. Understand the Difference Between True Love and Emotion** True love is not a fleeting feeling or a passionate impulse; it is a deep, abiding principle that is rooted in character and commitment. > "Love is a precious gift, which we receive from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not a feeling, but a principle. Those who are actuated by true love are not unreasonable or blind. They are taught by the Holy Spirit and love God supremely and their neighbor as themselves." (AH 50.2) > > "Love is a plant of heavenly growth, and it must be fostered and nourished. Affectionate hearts, truthful, loving words, will make happy families and exert an elevating influence upon all who come within the sphere of their influence." (CG 103.2) **3. Look for a Partner Who Will Elevate You Spiritually** The ultimate goal of a Christian marriage is to help both partners grow closer to God. A suitable partner will be a spiritual strength, not a hindrance. > "Let a young man seek one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and who will make him happy in her love." (MH 359.3) > > "In your choice of a life companion, be sure that she will not draw you away from God, away from your post of duty, away from the service of the Master. Be sure that she will be one who will elevate and ennoble you." (3T 483.1) **4. Evaluate Character Above All Else** Physical attraction and worldly status are temporary, but character is eternal. The most important qualities to look for are integrity, diligence, and a kind, unselfish heart. > "Let the question be asked, Will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the fear of God move forward." (5T 365.1) > > "Associate with those who are circumspect. Choose as your companions those who have a high, noble standard of character. Put to the stretch your own powers to do good, and to do good only." (2T 251.1) This advice encourages a shift in perspective: from the pain of a broken heart to the wisdom of building a future on a solid foundation. By prioritizing God's guidance, understanding true love, and focusing on character, you can prepare yourself for a relationship that is not only happy but also spiritually fulfilling.