According to Ellen White's writings, the most important aspects of marriage include:
1. **Mutual Love and Forbearance**: Marriage should be marked by mutual love, encouragement, and patience. Each partner should strive to make the other happy, continuing the kindness and attentiveness shown at the beginning of the relationship. (
MH 360.2)
2. **Careful Consideration and Divine Guidance**: The decision to marry should be made thoughtfully, with prayer and counsel from experienced individuals. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and should not be entered into hastily. (
CE 228.3;
PP 175.4)
3. **Character and Compatibility**: Before marriage, individuals should carefully observe the character and habits of their prospective spouse. Every step should be taken with modesty, sincerity, and a desire to honor God. (
MH 359.1)
4. **Individuality and Relationship with God**: Each partner should maintain their individuality and personal relationship with God. Making Christ central in the marriage strengthens the love between spouses. (
MH 361.3)
5. **Preparation and Maturity**: Marriage should not be entered into prematurely. Both individuals should be mature and prepared for its responsibilities, and there should not be a significant disparity in age. (
MH 358.1-2)
6. **Ongoing Growth and Unity**: True unity in marriage develops over time. The real union is the work of the years following the wedding, as couples grow together. (
MH 359.5)
7. **Sacredness and Responsibility**: Marriage is a sacred institution, symbolizing the union between Christ and His church. It should be entered into with reverence, recognizing its impact on family, society, and spiritual life. (
7T 46.3;
MH 356.4)
8. **Practical Kindness and Thoughtfulness**: Small acts of kindness, encouragement, and courtesy are vital to marital happiness. Each partner should avoid hurting the other's feelings and be thoughtful in both small and large matters. (
SA 120.2)
9. **Consideration for Offspring and Society**: Couples should consider the physical, mental, and moral well-being of their future children and the influence their family will have on society. (
SA 104.1)
10. **Avoiding Impulse and Haste**: Many unhappy marriages result from hasty decisions and lack of acquaintance with each other's character. Time, reflection, and prayer are essential before making such a commitment. (4T 503;
3SG 120.1)
In summary, Ellen White emphasizes that marriage should be entered into thoughtfully, with mutual love, respect, and a strong spiritual foundation, and that it requires ongoing effort, kindness, and growth.
References:
- White, E. G. (1905). The Ministry of Healing, pp. 356.4, 358.1-3, 359.1, 359.5, 360.2, 361.3.
- White, E. G. (1893). Christian Education, p. 228.3.
- White, E. G. (1890). Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 175.4.
- White, E. G. (1896). The Adventist Home (Selections from Social and Adventist Home), pp. 104.1, 120.2, 139.1.
- White, E. G. (1902). Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 7, p. 46.3.
- White, E. G. (1881). Testimonies for the Church, Vol. 4, p. 503.
- White, E. G. (1864). Spiritual Gifts, Vol. 3, p. 120.1.