Thank you for your heartfelt and important question. It touches on a struggle that many sincere Christians face. Let's look at what Ellen White's writings say on these topics. ### On Sin After Baptism and the Need for Rebaptism The act of baptism is a public declaration of forsaking the service of Satan and becoming a child of God (6T 91.3). However, the Christian life is a continuous journey, and falling into sin after baptism does not automatically invalidate your relationship with God or always require rebaptism. Forgiveness is always available to the repentant heart. The Bible, as quoted by Ellen White, is clear: “‘If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’” (COL 158.1). The question of rebaptism is addressed in the context of a profound, renewed spiritual experience. It is not presented as a requirement for every sin committed after one's initial baptism. Rather, it is for those who have come to a new and deeper understanding of truth or have experienced a significant turning back to God after a period of straying. Ellen White describes it this way: > "His former baptism does not satisfy him now. He has seen himself a sinner, condemned by the law of God. He has experienced anew a death to sin, and he desires again to be buried with Christ by baptism, that he may rise to walk in newness of life." (LP 133.2) This suggests that the desire for rebaptism comes from a personal conviction that a significant spiritual transformation has occurred, making the first baptism feel insufficient to represent this new commitment. It is not a church-mandated solution for post-baptismal sins. ### On Satan Bringing Up Past Sins Your feeling that Satan is bringing up past sins to condemn you is an accurate description of his work. Ellen White clearly identifies him as "the accuser of our brethren." > "While Jesus is pleading for the subjects of His grace, Satan accuses them before God as transgressors. The great deceiver has sought to lead them into skepticism, to cause them to lose confidence in God, to separate themselves from His love, and to break His law. Now he points to the record of their lives, to the defects of character, the unlikeness to Christ, which has dishonored their Redeemer, to all the sins that he has tempted them to commit, and because of these he claims them as his subjects." (GC 484.1) Satan's goal is to use your past failures to destroy your faith and make you feel that your case is hopeless. > "Satan endeavors to terrify them with the thought that their cases are hopeless, that the stain of their defilement will never be washed away. He hopes to so destroy their faith that they will yield to his temptations and turn from their allegiance to God." (GC 618.3) ### On Grace, Forgiveness, and Assurance The fact that you have felt grace and forgiveness is the very promise of God. You should hold onto that assurance. Forgiveness is a fact based on God's promise, not on our feelings or our ability to never sin again. Here is how you can respond to the tempter's accusations: > "Satan may whisper, 'You are too great a sinner for Christ to save.' While you acknowledge that you are indeed sinful and unworthy, you may meet the tempter with the cry, 'By virtue of the atonement, I claim Christ as my Saviour. I trust not to my own merits, but to the precious blood of Jesus, which cleanses me. This moment I hang my helpless soul on Christ.'" (SL 90.2) Your part is to confess, repent, and believe the promise. God's part is to forgive and cleanse. > "You cannot atone for your past sins; you cannot change your heart and make yourself holy. But God promises to do all this for you through Christ. You believe that promise. You confess your sins and give yourself to God. You will to serve Him. Just as surely as you do this, God will fulfill His word to you. If you believe the promise,—believe that you are forgiven and cleansed,—God supplies the fact; you are made whole..." (SC 51.1) **In summary:** 1. **Rebaptism is not required for every sin after baptism.** It is for those who feel a profound new conversion and desire to mark that new beginning. 2. **God's forgiveness is freely available.** If you have confessed your sin, you can trust His promise to forgive and cleanse you. 3. **Recognize the source of condemnation.** The feelings of guilt over past, forgiven sins are accusations from Satan, designed to destroy your faith. 4. **Cling to the promise.** Your assurance comes not from your own perfection, but from trusting in the merits and atoning blood of Jesus Christ.