Ellen Chat Conversation

Based on Ellen White's writings, the Bible's teaching on sex before marriage is clear and uncompromising. Here's what her writings reveal about biblical principles regarding sexual relationships before marriage: ## The Bible's Clear Prohibition Ellen White emphasizes that **fornication** (sexual relations outside of marriage) is explicitly condemned in Scripture. She writes: "This very sin, fornication, prevailed among ancient Israel, which brought the signal manifestation of God's displeasure. The judgments of God followed close upon their heinous sin. Thousands of them fell, and their polluted bodies were left in the wilderness" (SA 142.2). She references Paul's warning in 1 Corinthians 10:5-12, noting that "Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand" (SA 142.2). ## The Seventh Commandment's Scope The seventh commandment "Thou shalt not commit adultery" (PP 308.6) extends beyond just adultery within marriage. Ellen White explains: "This commandment forbids not only acts of impurity, but sensual thoughts and desires, or any practice that tends to excite them. Purity is demanded not only in the outward life but in the secret intents and emotions of the heart" (PP 308.7). She emphasizes Christ's teaching that "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (2SP 221.1), showing that sexual impurity begins in the mind and heart. ## God's Standard of Purity Ellen White stresses that God requires complete purity from His people: "Purity is demanded not only in the outward life but in the secret intents and emotions of the heart. Christ, who taught the far-reaching obligation of the law of God, declared the evil thought or look to be as truly sin as is the unlawful deed" (PP 308.7). She calls for Christians to maintain "chastity and virtue" that "stand in marked contrast with that of the class who are controlled by brute passions" (SA 153.2). ## The Apostolic Teaching Ellen White references Paul's clear teaching: "The apostle plainly outlined the result of turning from a life of purity and holiness to the corrupt practices of heathenism. 'Be not deceived,' he wrote; 'neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, ... nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God'" (AA 306.3). ## The Call to Sanctification She emphasizes that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit: "Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's" (2T 475.3). The biblical standard is clear: sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage, and God calls His people to maintain purity in thought, word, and deed. Any sexual activity outside the marriage covenant is considered fornication and is explicitly condemned in Scripture.

Based on Ellen White's writings, while she doesn't provide specific guidance about birthday wishes, her extensive counsel on friendship, kindness, and expressing love offers beautiful principles for celebrating friends on their birthdays: ## The Power of Kind Words and Expressions Ellen White emphasizes that **"Words of kindness are as welcome as the smile of angels"** (MH 158.3). She notes that **"Kind words, looks of sympathy, expressions of appreciation, would be to many a struggling and lonely one as the cup of cold water to a thirsty soul"** (MB 23.1). For birthday wishes, this suggests that heartfelt, appreciative words can be deeply meaningful to friends. ## The Importance of Expressing Love and Appreciation She warns against withholding expressions of care: **"Many there are who bring their precious gifts for the dead... Had these words been spoken when the weary spirit needed them so much, when the ear could hear and the heart could feel, how precious would have been their fragrance!"** (DA 560.3). This principle suggests we should express our appreciation and love for friends while they can hear and be blessed by it - making birthdays perfect opportunities. ## Practical Guidance for Friendship Ellen White provides this beautiful counsel: **"Words of kindness, looks of sympathy, expressions of appreciation, would to many a struggling, lonely one be as a cup of cold water to a thirsty soul. A word of cheer, an act of kindness, would go far to lighten the burdens that are resting heavily upon weary shoulders"** (7T 49.4). She also notes: **"'A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.' Proverbs 18:24"** (Ed 136.3). ## The Spirit of True Celebration While cautioning against worldly revelry, Ellen White acknowledges appropriate celebration. She mentions her own birthday celebration and describes how **"the glad sunshine, after the wind and storm, soon awakened cheerfulness and mirth"** (4T 289.3). She also speaks positively of the Feast of Tabernacles as **"a joyous commemoration of the blessings of God"** (PP 540.6), suggesting that celebrating God's goodness and expressing gratitude can be appropriate. ## Practical Application for Birthday Wishes Based on these principles, meaningful birthday wishes for friends might include: - **Expressions of appreciation** for their friendship and character - **Words of encouragement** about their positive qualities - **Gratitude to God** for bringing them into your life - **Prayers or blessings** for their continued happiness and spiritual growth - **Specific acknowledgment** of how they've been a blessing to you The key is that such expressions should be genuine, uplifting, and focused on building up your friend rather than mere social convention.

Engaging in sexual activity outside of the marriage covenant is identified as a counterfeit to the pure and holy plan God established for human relationships. While the sanctity of married love is a divine gift, practices such as premarital sex, adultery, and permissiveness are categorized as perversions of this original design (1MCP 220.3). Such actions are not merely social errors but are described as "fornication" and "uncleanness," which are listed among behaviors that bring the wrath of God upon those who persist in disobedience (EducationalMessenger September 11, 1908, par. 14). The consequences of these actions extend to the spiritual and moral standing of the individual. Engaging in fornication or adultery is a direct violation of the law of God, specifically the principles of the Decalogue given at Sinai (T18 140.1).

When individuals ignore these divine claims, sin begins to lose its "exceedingly sinful" character in their eyes, often leading to a further breakdown of integrity, including deception and the loss of self-control over lustful passions (PH011 15.1).

Furthermore, sexual sin is described as a dishonor to the Redeemer and a disgrace that can impact the broader community of faith. It creates a burden of guilt and shame that can cause deep sorrow for loved ones and potentially lead others toward impure thoughts (PaM 59).

Beyond the outward act, the internal cultivation of lascivious thoughts is viewed by Christ as a violation of the heart's purity, placing the individual on the same moral ground as those who commit the physical act (2SP 221.1).

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You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the importance of purity in thoughts and motives?How does the violation of moral laws affect an individual's spiritual and physical health?What counsel did she provide for those seeking restoration after falling into moral sin?

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The decision to enter into marriage after having engaged in premarital sex requires a deep evaluation of motives and spiritual standing. Marriage is a sacred institution that should only be entered into after the matter has been carefully and prayerfully considered from an elevated standpoint to determine if God can truly be glorified by the union (PH101 9.2). It is not a step to be taken lightly or merely as a reaction to past mistakes, but must be based on sanctified principle (PH048 27.5). While the violation of purity is a serious matter that can be ruinous to both soul and body for time and eternity, the focus for those who have fallen must first be on restoration and understanding the sacred nature of the marriage claims (1MCP 231.2).

If the parties involved understand the solemn responsibilities of the marriage relation and seek to live in obedience to God's design, a union formed under these conditions can still be approved by Heaven and result in happiness (T17 71.5).

However, a marriage should never be built on the foundation of impulse or the mere promptings of the carnal mind, as this leads to a perpetual difference of taste and purpose. True unity in marriage depends on both individuals being assimilated to the mind of Christ and seeking to overcome selfish inclinations (1TT 577.3). Before proceeding, individuals must ensure they are not simply following "lustful passion" which refuses to submit to control, but are instead committed to a life of purity and holiness (PH101 9.2).

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You might also want to explore:What are the spiritual consequences of violating the seventh commandment?How can a couple restore their spiritual standing after falling into temptation?What criteria did Ellen White suggest for determining if a marriage union will glorify God?

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Restoration begins with a deep, personal recognition of the nature of the sin committed. When a couple has entered into temptation, they must move beyond mere self-pity and experience a genuine "agony of penitential grief" and "godly sorrow" (13MR 90.3) (SpTA02a 25). This process involves acknowledging that their actions have grieved the Holy Spirit, betrayed their Savior, and brought a shadow of darkness over their own souls (13MR 90.3). The path to spiritual recovery requires an earnest and individual effort to seek God's face through prayer and confession. The Lord invites those who have backslidden to urge their case before the throne of grace with tears of true contrition, promising that He will hear their confessions, answer their petitions, and provide the strength necessary to do His will (13MR 90.3).

This experience is not passive; it demands "earnestness and unabated diligence" to escape the corrupting influences of the world and to become partakers of the divine nature (T16 18.1). In cases where there has been a significant departure from God, a decided reformation and "thorough conversion" are necessary (7MR 262.2) (PC 299.1). This may include a renewal of the marriage covenant or even rebaptism as a public testimony of a soul truly reconverted and purified (7MR 262.2).

By making a practical application of divine admonitions to their individual lives, the couple can move from a state of spiritual death to a "resurrection" of their spiritual energies (SpTB07 41.3) (SpTA02a 25). The community of faith also plays a vital role in this restoration. Those who are spiritual are instructed to restore the erring in a "spirit of meekness," offering words of faith and courage that act as a "healing balsam" to the wounded soul (15MR 172) (DA 504.4). While the couple must work to regain the confidence of the church through a humble course of duty, the ultimate goal is for them to be "renewed, purified, [and] sanctified," standing once again as witnesses to the power of truth (13MR 90.3) (7MR 262.2).

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You might also want to explore:What did Ellen White teach about the difference between true and false repentance?How does the influence of one's associates affect their ability to resist temptation?What practical steps did she recommend for maintaining a "deep and thorough experience" in spiritual life?

The question of remarriage after divorce is addressed with great solemnity, emphasizing that the marriage tie is intended to be indissoluble except under very specific circumstances. According to the teachings of Jesus, there is no valid reason for the dissolution of the marriage bond except for unfaithfulness to the marriage vow, specifically identified as fornication (MB 63). When a divorce occurs for reasons other than this biblical ground, the act of marrying again is characterized as committing adultery (MB 63). The moral right to remarry depends heavily on which party was responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. If an individual is the "provoking party"—meaning they deserted their spouse or acted in a way that violated their marriage vows—they have no moral right to contract a second marriage (2SM 340).

Heaven holds individuals accountable for their treatment of their families, and those who recklessly disregard their marriage relations or place their affections on others while still legally bound to a spouse are not considered worthy of confidence in a new union (10MR 193.1). Conversely, there are instances where the innocent party is considered free to remarry. If a spouse has been abandoned and the other partner has gone on to marry someone else, the scriptures do not forbid the abandoned individual from marrying again "in the Lord" (17MR 147.1) (2SM 340.1). Furthermore, if a woman obtains a legal divorce specifically on the grounds that her husband was guilty of adultery, she is considered free to be married to another (17MR 156.2).

Ultimately, marriage and divorce are viewed as "vexed" and complex questions that require careful study of the Bible's perspective (13MR 296.3). The primary concern is that individuals do not allow domestic relations to divorce their minds from spiritual interests or lead them to refuse the invitations of the gospel (19MR 246.3).

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You might also want to explore:What constitutes "unfaithfulness to the marriage vow" according to Ellen White?How should the church treat members who have divorced and remarried on non-biblical grounds?What counsel did Ellen White give to those in unhappy or "uncongenial" marriages?

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