Marriage, as understood in Adventism through the writings of Ellen White, is a sacred institution ordained by God Himself, designed to be a blessing to humanity. It is a lifelong union, symbolizing the profound relationship between Christ and His church.
Here are key principles and insights regarding Adventist marriage:
1. **Divine Origin and Purpose:** God instituted the first marriage in Eden, making it one of the original gifts to humanity. When divine principles are recognized and obeyed, marriage "guards the purity and happiness of the race, it provides for man's social needs, it elevates the physical, the intellectual, and the moral nature" (
PP 46.3).
2. **Careful Consideration and Counsel:** Entering the marriage relation is a significant step that should not be taken lightly or hastily. Ellen White emphasizes the need for careful consideration, stating, "If there is any subject which should be carefully considered and in which the counsel of older and more experienced persons should be sought, it is the subject of marriage; if ever the Bible was needed as a counselor, if ever divine guidance should be sought in prayer, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life" (
PP 175.4,
MH 359.1). Young people should have practical life experience to prepare for its duties and burdens, and early marriages are generally not encouraged (
MH 358.1).
3. **Christ as the Foundation:** A marriage alliance can only be safely formed "in Christ." Human love finds its deepest bonds in divine love. "Only where Christ reigns can there be deep, true, unselfish affection" (
MH 358.3). Both husband and wife have a personal relationship with God and should make Christ "first and last and best in everything" (
MH 361.3). As love for Christ deepens, love for each other will be purified and strengthened.
4. **Mutual Love, Respect, and Forbearance:** Neither husband nor wife should seek to rule over the other. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church, and the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate kindness, determined "never to grieve or injure the other" (
7T 47.1). Mutual love, forbearance, and a continuous effort to advance each other's happiness are essential. "The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven" (
MH 360.2).
5. **Ongoing Work of Union:** The true union in marriage is not fully achieved at the ceremony but is "the work of the after years" (
MH 359.5). Couples should avoid harboring thoughts that their union is a mistake, even when difficulties arise. Instead, they should determine to be all that is possible to each other, continuing early attentions and encouraging each other in life's battles (
MH 360.2).
6. **Avoiding Selfishness and Unscriptural Marriages:** Ellen White warns against selfishness and marriages contracted from impulse, noting that "there is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God, and places the parties in a position better to glorify Him" (4T 503). Religion, duty, and principle should not be sacrificed for unconsecrated desires.
In essence, an Adventist marriage is a sacred covenant, rooted in divine principles, nurtured by Christ-centered love, and sustained by mutual respect, kindness, and a lifelong commitment to growth and happiness.